I dress very professionally for work even though I don’t have to. No one else does, I could just wear jeans and a nice top. But I LOVE wearing dresses and heels and nice jewelry. It makes me feel pretty and OLDER. And because I look like the college students we serve, dressing up sets me apart…
Agreed, because you know else? These types of compliments automatically turn it around and makes it about the complimenter and shows how insecure they are.
VISUAL KEI SCENE WAS THE TRIGGER FOR MY EATING DISORDER.
Interesting. I like how this post puts it more than this one:http://j-music-confessions.tumblr.com/post/25905095698/i-blame-visual-kei-for-my-eating-disorder
One blames Visual Kei, while one says it was “The” (a?) trigger. There is a big difference in my opinion. For some reason, with my ED, I don’t find Visual Kei “triggering”. I find it really beautiful in some ways, but I don’t find it…”triggering” for lack of a better term. On the other hand I don’t really find most images or media “triggering” I’ve never quite gotten that. Environment - which is basically anything that is not genetics, plays a part in developing an ED, but you have to have the predisposition to develop one. So, Genetics, environment and then actions. Those contribute to developing an ED.
That being said, so many times I have been like “Why are they so pretty?!!?” but it never really compels me to ever want to take action to try to be that way. It does take a lot of effort to look that way, the clothes, the makeup, I imagine they work out a lot - I’ve followed Teruki, Miku, Kanon, Yuuki and Takuya on Twitter (I don’t really follow it much) but I recall when I was, one of them (I think Kanon?) was talking about dieting and losing weight. (Which made me kind of sad..) I’ve seem Takuya taking pictures, coming back from running, they mention Miku does boxing to stay in shape. I’m not sure about diet, I’ve seen Miku’s Twitter feed with plenty of McDonalds, haha.
I walked through the door and pet our dog on the head. I got caught in a OCD compulsion of having to pet him until it felt “right”. I caught myself by the third one and stopped. I guess that works well for the dog though…or annoys it. Not sure which.
Ah, I don’t know if UTB music has a sort of “theme” for each episode, as I’ve never watched it while paying attention or all the way through - I’ve happened upon it once and remember The GazettE Fadeless PV being on though. That being said, today all the songs seem way to “westernized” or “American”. Right now, “My Voice” by Funky Kato, “Namonaki Hananoyouni” by Yu-Yu, “Show me Your Holla” by Kumi Koda….Ah, wait, that theme seems to just have been broken by “Guru Guru Wonderland” by Silent Siren…Kind of…Gah, why am I watching this (because I’m hoping something good might actually come on and surprise me, that’s why.)
I don’t believe “Exercise bulimia” is an official diagnosis, but I wonder where the line is [blurred] between “Exercise bulimia” “Exercise Compulsion” “Exercise Addiction” and so on. I know that cross over rate is high for EDs, so in a way it is weird to state one diagnosis and then another. My original diagnosis as a teenager was AN-R. Once being made to “Recover” I did start to try to purge at times of extreme distress and started exercising compulsively to alleviate anxiety. Perhaps the distinction with “Exercise Bulimia” would be that the person eats “normally” but exercises excessively? At the same time, I would think eating “normally” would be pretty much not possible in a way… “Normal” as far as what? It would still be restriction because it is so closely tied with the anxiety and compulsion of exercise. I suppose how low the persons weight is would also be taken into account.
I think this bothers me a lot because in my last IOP place, upon discharge, I read my papers and they wrote “Exercise bulimic” and it bothered me a lot. Like I had “failed” in restriction and was instead some fat person who ate too trying to compensate with exercise….. As if they just needed to stop the exercise then I’d be at an okay weight…..
But then I was underweight by…I don’t know my brain wants to say “a lot” and “not very much” all at once because my thoughts are distorted but I don’t want to say numbers. That and if they thought that was the case though….why did they let me continue to exercise and just up my meal plan by a lot? I mean…part of me is glad…because it freaking felt like I would die and get horribly fat if they made me stop…but…still…that tiny rational scared part of me is hurt and torn…
Hmm, very different than what I am used to seeing or picturing Miyavi. The fact that it is mostly in English too, kind of throws me off. Secondly, his style in this music video has a Hyde or Gackt like feel.
"You must learn to sit with the restless, painful energy and not let the momentum pull you under and cause you to do the same thing over and over that’s ruining your life and the lives of those around you."